Mumbai and a wedding

Those of you who have read my MBA blog would know that I love love Mumbai. I was happy to go back to the city of aspirations as my childhood friend was getting married there. (The groom is from Mumbai). This time though I avoided golas and juices from the carts as I was scared by my husband! But I couldn't resist Noorani's bread and mince meat and since I don't drink tea, cool cold milkshakes.

The wedding was amazing. One thing among weddings especially Indian ones is that expect a lot of relatives to feel bad on tiny stuffs, quarrels, accusations (I gave you the packet! Why didn't u bring it?!) and dis satisfactions (Where is your mom? Where is the food? where is the bride? where is the bridesmaid?) Yes, I was the so-called main bridesmaid but since I was not there with my friend (while 10 relatives where fussing over her) I got laid off and told off much like a job.

The food was excellent. I mean it. I feel like OK not mine but my children's wedding I will do it in Mumbai just for the food. Amazing amazing biryani, platter of mixed meats, wonderful ice cream and imagine this - Watermelon soda!

I also got lots of gifts and cash. It was in all a very grand, very loud and very big fat Indian wedding. My friend looked lovely in her bridal wear. I was happy to see that both she and her husband share a friendship and can pull each others legs! :)

As for sight seeing.. I went to Marine drive, rode on the horse chariot and had cold coffee at Barista with my friends. Not a place I would go in Mumbai (I hate brands - There are places unknown and that's where you get the best stuff).

Shopping!!! haha.. yep you guessed it... I went with a decently chained bag and came back with a bag almost busting and I couldn't push it beneath the seat of my berth and I had to request the side berth passengers if I could keep it under theirs as the side berth is a little higher. I had a lower berth (which is OK compared to the middle berth) but I am all for the upper berth as that is the place you can climb and sleep and sleep and sleep especially when you are returning from Mumbai as the wedding was hectic and by the time we were home it was 1.30 am and by the time I had finished packing it was 3.30 am and by the time I was asleep it was 4.30 am. I got up for the dawn prayer and immediately went to sleep. My friend's mom came at 6.30 am to take me for breakfast but I was not in the condition to have any.

Once I was settled in the train I was lucky that the upper berth was given to an old lady who wanted the lower berth "By all means!!" I thanked God. I jumped up, put my pillow and slept soundly waking up only for lunch and dinner and to read for around an hour. As you guess I am back home and feeling completely refreshed even though I have travelled 24 hours. That is why I love train journeys. You get the chance to relax which otherwise you wouldn't in air travels what with the 3 hrs before reporting, bag gaging, immigration , waiting and to repeat the whole thing again in 2 hours.

Back to home sweet home and a lot of cleaning!

Time to seriously Stop!

November 26Th - My sister's birthday and I am waiting to hear from her that she got the red roses I sent her online when at 11 pm I switch over to news and see that Taj being attack. "I am sure the News channels would be happy. Finally something!" I thought like a true worldly person. 1.00 a.m. and the battle is raging on. We can't sleep and we can't switch off the channels. My husband mentions "I'm sure they will claim these are Muslim terrorists". Second day: I call my friend in Mumbai and tell him to be careful. Being a North Indian in Maharashtra state not only does he have to fear the likes of Raj Thakery but now gundas with bullets and bombs.

One week later: My friend has not called me back. I don't know what to say. Everyone is angry about Mumbai. They did turn out to be Pakistani trained terrorists killing innocent people. My husband goes to work, and he has to face snide remarks 'See what your brothers are doing'. We, as Muslims are made ashamed by a handful of people who are killing people for no reason!! They claim that they are killing because of Babri masjid and atrocities against Muslims and the gujrat riots. Which person sitting in the Taj hotel was responsible for ANY of these acts of accusation that you are killing him? If you are so burning with hatred for the Gujrat riots, killing those responsible for those riots would make sense but not someone sipping tea at a cafe! What do you gain by killing 200 innocent people over 3 days? What difference have you made to Islam but to tarnish the name of the world's most beautiful religion? What else other than bring shame to Muslims have you done? What would the Prophet have told you if He (SAW) was alive today?

STOP! Just STOP! SERIOUSLY STOP!

Whether Muslims or not, those who do such acts of terrorism (and indeed they are terrorists) have to be brought to justice. Its time India took steps and stopped such groups from attacking innocent people on train, in a hotel having food, on the road, at the station waiting for the train. Kill these groups. Destroy them. WE DON'T NEED THEM. They are definitely not the face of Islam and if Pakistan can't do it, It's time India did. It's time to attack. Not the time to sit back and have talks on whether the terrorist was a Pakistani or whether he had his passport tied in his underwear when he shot innocents. Our country's intelligence should go ahead, conduct an investigation, find these camps and have a military flee bomb all of them!! That would be a befitting answer. Never again would they dare to do such a thing.

At the same time, India has to be careful not to do what USA did to the WHOLE country of Afghanistan. Here specifically have I said 'Terror camps' because this is where such evil ideas are spread.

Sometimes I wonder whether the attack on Afghanistan (from an American point of view) was worth it because after 9/11 no one has dared attack USA. They saw what happened to Afghanistan and they knew they weren't playing with children. Indian politicians on the other hand will sit for six months and shout 'We want this person and this mullah and this don and then we will see what we will do' knowing very well that Pakistan in no way is going to say "Oh Alright, here you go, nicely gift wrap. Enjoy!"

Another absurd side-effect of terror attacks; "I TAKE MORAL RESPONSIBILITY AND RESIGN' yeah great! You didn't do your job and now that the time has come to do something about it, "Take care buddy, I am off for my vacation". That is Politics.

Many citizens are reacting as though it is the Congress fault that the terrorists attacked. Let me tell you, whether Congress, BJP, CPM or any other 3 digit party were to be ruling, none of them would have done anything. At the end, there is no central agency, there are no smart CIAs or FBIs that we see in Hollywood movies in that Sarkari office of ours. By voting BJP, I don't see a sudden 'Bourne Ultimatum' happening in India. No thanks. All the Congress and BJP and the other three lettered party do is fight among themselves for power and then take bribe to give the tender for building defective roads over the next five years!!!

Thank God I don't have the option to vote!

In conclusion, Its a messy messy world... It will take years of cleaning to get this system clean up, reorganised and running. Right now, It's the moment to act. Not to sit back and beckon a don. Time we gave these terrorists a taste of their own medicine.

Why do engagements break up?

Its very rare to hear a marriage breaking up - especially in Indian marriages, but engagements; it's become almost okay to break them. Out of ten couples who get engaged, around five of them break up. I know four girls got engaged and it didn't work out.

Case 1: The guy misbehaved and actually hit the girl
Case 2: The guy asked his sister to let the girl know and tell her never to contact him again- out of the blue!
Case 3: The guy felt the girl was too poor for his class
Case 4: The guy complained that the girl did not call his mother enough or his relatives!

Does any of these makes sense? No, right but it happened. Men generally think that they have an upper hand, being 'men' and that they can pressure women and their families into doing anything they fancy. The goal is not about 'Let's make it work' but rather about pride and ego and 'we are the boy's side' albeit superior.

Therefore, one has to protect oneself from such cruel and insensitive people. Engagement is a huge deal because, human beings are like love birds. Put any two love birds in a cage and you will see that over a time, they attach themselves. They fight, they love, they talk and when you remove one of them from the cage, the other one actually cries out.

Whether one is engaged by his own choice or through an arranged match, one gets attached to it's going-to-be mate. Breaking away causes a huge emotional break down. On both sides and mostly on the person who has been ditched. The person's self-confidence, self-esteem, social standing, family respect all takes a beating.

There are many people who say 'Its better to break up an engagement than a marriage' in other words justifying that it's alright to break up the allegiance. However, when I see the pain that these people go through, I feel it's not worth it. It's better to remain together as one than apart as broken down.

Well, God has His way of rewarding those with patience. Three of these girls that I know are now the most happiest. They went through heartbreaks and after a while, a year or two of healing found their prince charming and are living wonderful, peaceful and happy lives :)